It’s the feeling of tearing off the scar and watching it heal again, through actually feeling the pain of the tear and feeling the relief of the pain passing. It’s a different understanding. I still find myself releasing past layers of emotional impact that deep relationships left on my heart. As closed as certain doors are in my mind, my heart often times likes to revisit the journey to revisit the scar. A scar, different than a scab. It’s not one I can literally tear open any more in the way I used to. I can’t find myself in the path of making it a depth of pain like I once did. Time heals and lessons reveal.
I call it the "Re-Mourning Process." That’s literally the process we take ourselves through at times in the healing journey. The emotional scar that has closed, yet that we re open to re heal even deeper layers. I didn’t even understand this process or why we do it until I was and have been forced to overcome the past 2 years almost of being single after a series of two long relationships that added to over 11 years. Love is seriously my religion. It’s all I have ever known, up until I started this powerful journey of #LoveYourselfMadly, meaning loving me first and foremost.
I find myself always empathizing with women who find themselves stuck looking back longing in deep pain. Those women anywhere in the cycles of love lessons or heart breaks looking back in a longing versus looking back in a way of gaining from the experience to not repeat the cycles that didn’t work and to re create the ones that did work. I did that for a LONG time. So I can relate. Love is something that people who operate on the right side of their brain actually need as more of a stabilizing function in their lives for fruition in other areas of their life. It’s a huge part of my life. I’ve always had love. Always been in love. Letting go of all of the 11 years of relationships the past years to come to a place of love shifting towards myself instead, has been the biggest fight for freedom ever. It’s been the hardest soul fight ever. I think of how easily we get bonded to others and easily we attach meaning and a vision to someone, then how the next seeming moment it can feel like two people and life cycles of growth have created two distinctly different visions of how life together was going to end up. Then, a split. The tear, the pain, the cycle, the hurt, it all begins happening.
I always think of the person we grow into and become with each love experience that is deep in our lives. Assuming we make good choices in partners some cause us to grow in better ways than others and some literally change you to be a better woman even way long after they have left your life. That’s the kind of person that we could all aspire to be even more. Leave everyone a better person, no matter what. Mind you, even talking with my Soul Sister this weekend, we talked about the mini relationships that come and go in our lives and how even those cause a mini impact in us , and I said a “little dent” and how there is even a healing that has to happen in each of those if we are to seek the spiritual lesson from it. Life is always pushing to teach us. Are we willing to listen is the question?
TODAY, I THOUGHT OF HOW TONY ROBBINS ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT “STANDARDS”. HE SAYS, “WE DON’T GET OUR GOALS IN LIFE, WE GET OUR STANDARDS”.
Now, that being applied to relationships, means that as time progresses we just aren’t willing to put up with the same things we once used to. Or commit the same mistakes. Temporarily, possibly, but not lastingly. Repeating the same mistakes costs us. Each time, the cost is higher. We aren’t willing to at times even put the same amount of effort and or time into a person as we would have once wanted to. It’s not that willingness is even an issue I often think, it’s just that wisdom steers us different. Intuition gets stronger each and every time we love. That internal radar can be so strong and yet at times we can hear it and still choose to ignore it, whether for the good or the bad. Even at that, I think, even when in fact, we choose to re mourn and or revisit the past, it’s in hindsight that often times get even more of the gift of emotional intelligence.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE LEADS US TO THE PATH OF OUR HIGHEST GREATEST GOOD.
I couldn’t fathom it then, I clearly remember that. That’s actually the reason why I quit drinking last June 2015. I decided, I wanted to seek a spiritual healing that only being in complete alignment to emotional clarity could bring me. It did. That’s for sure. It also created an acceleration of healing and an acceleration of relationship wisdom. Let me tell you, you learn a thing or two alway being in a relationship all your life practically. I was joking with a girl friend the other day telling her, I feel like I can’t even walk anywhere at times without a brand new guy trying to cling to me for life! ha! Funny, but true. It’s been a push for me to be a single woman in what will be 2 years in November. I have learned to get to know and BUILD the best version of me that I haven’t ever known before honestly and it’s been a fight. All my Soul Sisters in the world pouring into my life seeking that same healing is what really helps me to stay focused on the path. In that, we are all healing together on different levels as I believe there is always something we can improve upon. Improvement is sexy.
Today, I cried tears of gratitude for all loves past in my life through my workout as I was on the most breathtaking view of the city rooftop in Los Angeles. As several of my Hypnotherapy clients were talking about love today, I thought, “What is God pushing for me to recognize today?”
I realized even more emotional growth in myself today. I honestly have reached such a loving place in my heart for anyone who has ventured through my life to leave impressions on my Soul. I think in such a loving warmth embrace now and that’s because I do the same to myself now. To all my loves past, they all were and are and forever will be so special in my heart. It’s just the way I choose to wrap my past in LOVE. I find it’s necessary to do that in order to embrace your present. To embrace your future. I honor me, and I honor that in all my dealings in life as I shine to bring the best version of me. Perfect in no way and never trying to be. That’s “baggage” trying to seek perfection and I love feeling light. Loving myself now in every way is all I ever want anymore. To always retain this place I have fought hard to be at. I’m helping others get here too. That’s what matters. Day by day. I remind myself: I am love and so therefore it isn’t a shock that I attract love in everyone. We can all be that though.
The answer: Emotional Clarity. It’s not easy. It’s necessary though.
What I do know, is that YOU are making an impression on someone as we speak. What I do know is that YOU are leaving a footprint on someone’s heart as we speak. What I do know is that we have NO IDEA what God has in store for us. What if we could just surrender even more? What could really come of our understanding? God is waiting for that. The energy of life is moving through us at this moment to awaken us. To enlighten us and here we have choice. The choice to seek evolvement. If you read this far, you are probably just like me. Always seeking deeper meanings. Light, yet deep. I’m praying for us all. God is moving through our lives to help us shine even more. Forgive and release.
You are a powerful being! You deserve your own love. You deserve your own respect.
Enjoy being .....YOU.
You can schedule with me to chat about Hypnotherapy packages available to help you create a Subconscious Mind Healing BreakThrough.
#LoveYourselfMadly
Love, Alta